Tuesday, Jan. 29, 2008

The simple life

I often miss the simplicity of what was my life once upon a time.

Those days when I worked about 20 hours a week, those days when I had time to hang out with friends at the pub for a bite to eat before I had to pick up the kid from school and those days when I would be insanely bored and would sit at my computer looking for stuff to keep me occupied because I had nothing better to do. Yes I do miss those days and all the extra time that came with them but would I give up everything I have now to go back to them? No. I love the security of a full time job, I love paying off my own home and I love extra confidence this has all brung about. However, I would enjoy a few extra hours of daylight if not for anything but to spend more quality time with the kid, hitting the ball around at the cricket grounds next door or to go bushwalking amongst the hills, exploring the lovely countryside that surrounds us.

There just seems to be so many things that I would just love to do but to do everything would be quite impossible unless I won the lotto and had all the time in the world free to myself and my family.

Yes I do miss the simple life but thus is the price that I pay.

Thursday, Jan. 24, 2008

A knights end

I first heard the news of Heath Ledger's death over the radio at work. I actually had to confirm the words with a few co-workers for it to actually sink in to my head. How can a person who is younger than I be suddenly dead? Things like that just don't happen to famous people. Least they are not meant to. The one person who I really feel for now is his two year old daughter, Matilda, because she will never have the chance to know her father. At least she will get to see him every day, in the movies.

Friday, Jan. 18, 2008

Writer's Warning

Amazing.

One of the diaries I used to read online is pissed at me because she assumed I attacked her through one of my entries when in fact, I didn't even read the apparent entry of hers that I apparently attacked. (Can everyone say, what the?!) And if I had of read that entry, I probably would of written it with a bit more caution so no one would of become offended it by it. Hell, did I offend anyone else? Cuz please tell me now instead of slinking in the background and saying it behind my back. Give me a chance to defend myself, that is all I fucking well ask.

Do some people pick fights with me because they think i'll be an easy target? Do I come across as some kind of push over? Truthfully, I just don't have the time for this bullshit. I don't have time to take out personal attacks on people when I have a fucking life outside of the internet. I come online to read diaries I enjoy reading, to vent my frustrations and to improve my writing skills. But since my reputation is at stake here, i'll fight down to my very last breathe to retain it.

And just a side note on that, If anyone becomes offended by anything that I say, or believes a certain entry attacks them personally, ask me if I am in fact attacking you (not that I would anyway!) before assuming I'm writing about you. Just so no more wires get crossed. I have never attacked anyone on my favs list and if i write something in my diary, it is definitely not a cowardly way of attacking people because the only battles I fight are the ones in real life. With my fists and my teeth if need be. The only person who gains the pleasure of my sharp tongue online is K, and only because he can handle it and throws it back twice as good.

Any questions? No? Fantastic.

I have one though. Has this happened to anyone else out there?

Friday, Jan. 18, 2008

Disclaimer

All writings and pictures on this blog are copyright of E.C Dravyn, unless otherwise stated, and are not be reproduced without the expressed consent of the writer. If you wish to use any writings from this blog than you will need to gain permission first.

Ta! Thanks!

Tuesday, Jan. 15, 2008

Endings and beginnings

I'm not one for any regular rituals but I do like to read the local paper every morning.

I'm forever curious as to what is going on in my community - what events might I be able to pursue on the weekend, what markets can I manage to drag my boys too so I can load up on more goodies, and if I happen to recognise any faces whilst browsing it's pages. It so happens one particular face sprung up at me and in the least likely section of the paper – the new baby section. ”Oh my..” I immediately thought to myself as I took in the picture of him with a baby ”.. he was now a father. When did that happen?”

If you had of read my diary previously before I moved you might remember somewhat of a guy I used to have this enormous crush on whilst I was dating his best friend. Ugh. No not the one with the “flatmate/girlfriend”, the one I referred to as “The single guy”. He wasn't good looking but he was cute, had a great sense of humor, a huge sense of adventure yet at the same time he had a serious side which was way to appealing to my nature. I was almost glad to get away from this crush for that very reason and also because he himself was half in love with one of his best mate's girlfriends who was blonde, intelligent and gorgeous. If she hadn't of been such a sweet thing, I probably would of hated her for capturing his attention but as it was, I couldn't blame him. She was most guys idea of a dream girlfriend. It was a little sad to see him pine after someone he couldn't have. I after all knew what that was like.

I don't know how much time I spent gazing at that picture. Looking at him - a little chubbier but still a little cute - looking at the mother of his child - blonde, chubby, not at all cute - and the little bundle between them. There was no feeling there - no regret about losing his friendship from my life, no fluttering of the heart at the sight of him – just this complete blank of emotion and this immediate knowledge of how long ago it was since I seen him last. Over two years ago now and not long after I arrived back from Tasmania and the funeral. How sad was that.

He had been this freedom loving fiend who couldn't possibly sit still for a moment. If he wasn't in his 4WD heading to The Rocks, then he was towing his ski boat to the river for a spin. I couldn't imagine at all him settling down with a baby in his arms, changing diapers and burping it over his shoulder, yet, I always thought he would make a perfect father.

I'm not sure what his relationship is with the mother, she doesn't carry his last name yet they are obviously together. However what concerns me is the fact that best friend's gal he loved for all those years, now shares her name with his daughter. A middle name only but still, she is now there, an unescapable presence that will probably haunt the mother of his child for the rest of their lives.

Friday, Jan. 11, 2008

Tolerance

As much as I love the beloved, he really can be quite careless with some of our things. Such as when removing the hot dish of chicken wings from the microwave and the hot dish becomes stuck to the glass turn-table and said glass turn-table falls away from the dish onto the floor. Those sorts of careless things.

Twice I have had to witness this and both times I've had to grit my teeth in barely contained rage whilst nicely asking him to be a little more careful next time. His reply? To mimic me in that patronising way of his whilst going on his merry way as if nothing actually happened.

How do men manage to do that and get away with it?

Wednesday, Jan. 09, 2008

Otherside of the coin

Don't laugh but I actually don't mind listening to a few of Britney Spear's songs.

I realise the girl is slightly/mostly off her rocker and needs more then just a few therapy sessions with good ole Dr Phil but I doubt I'm going to “catch” her attitude just by listening to her music. Anyway, I just thought I'd share the fact that I listen to her music on the odd ocassion and sometimes even more than that. I can practically listen to anything though and don't have a certain genre that I must stick to. If I like the beat, I'll listen to it and damned if your in my car and don't like. Whoever drives the car, picks the music I'm afraid.

Shutdown at work is quite crazy this year. I have a billion tasks that I wanted to complete within these four weeks of no production but between running errands for bosses, accountants, even the bloomin store! and keeping up with all the jobs being carried out, I've fallen quite behind. The bonus of this happening is the day goes super dooper fast and I'm hardly bored. Tired a lot but never bored. The down side of being overly busy is the fact that none of those jobs I planned particually for shutdown ended up being completed. We are supposedly starting up next week and so I'm trying to cram as much as I can into these last few days that I have left with free rein of the plant. It's been a blast though. No water fights this year but it's been a blast.

Once again I'm discovering the fascinating world of Final Fantasy with their latest installment of the game, Final Fantasy XII. I wasted an entire day on the game when usually I pace myself with doing my chores in between so I don't feel so guilty at how much time I spend on the PS3. This time however I simply gorged myself out on it and didn't hold back. So far I've clocked up 10 hours on the game and I'm guessing it will be around the 20 mark by the end of the week. I don't get into many games but I love me some Final Fantasy.

Thursday, Jan. 03, 2008

Comfortable in my skin

One of the things that I will remember about the year of 2006 was the fact that when I felt that my life wasn't what I wanted, I literally replanted myself onto another branch of the tree. I was scared as all hell, there was that knowledge that I could end up alone and more than likely more destitute than before, but I did it anyway and life didn't end up being as horrible as I first imagined it could of be. Instead it sparkled with a renewed light. Inspired by this I took another brave leap of faith and in 2007 I purchased a house, moved the family out of town and into the great unknown, for an opportunity to someday call this piece of dirt our very own. I've never been in so much debt in my life and it was for this very reason that I held off ever buying a new car, not wanting the commitment of a large debt against my name but I'm comfortable with the idea now.

The last two years has been fairly eventful and I've grown up alot. After reading my old diary of the past five years I was quite disappointed by my childish attitude, skipping from boy to boy, getting myself into impossible situations which I thought I knew how to control. In other words I was fairly stupid and yet I never really learnt anything signifigant. I've two great turning points in my life, when my son was born and then again when my father passed away, and I suddenly wonder how more mature will I be after the next turning point, if there is another great one, and whether I'll notice a signifigant difference.

I'm slowly figuring out who I am and I'm becoming more and more comfortable with it. I may never be pretty as some girls nor as smart as others but that is more than okay with me now.